Boys Really Are a Lot Of Trouble
by mylilchickadee
Summary: All she wanted was to spend the day with her teammates . . . Oneshot.


Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Notes: I just felt like writing something stupid and pointless (which I wouldn't normally do) since finishing my other story scares me. So I did. Eh-heh. I don't know when this happens. I picture them older, 16-17, so maybe Sasuke never left? Whatever works, it doesn't make much difference. And they're all just friends. Oddly enough, Sakura-centric.

* * *

Boys Really Are A Lot Of Trouble

Forty-five minutes.

That's how long she'd been waiting in the hot baking sun. Well, technically speaking, she was in the shade and the weather was actually quite nice, temperate even, but that was not the point. The point was the forty-five minutes.

How hard could it be really, to just follow simple instructions? She told them to be here at two o'clock, and they were still no where to be seen. No message, no warning, no nothing. How is it that boys can be so inconsiderate? She was doing this for their benefit too. They'd all been working hard lately and deserved a little break, so when they were told to take the day off, she'd jumped at the chance to invite her two errant teammates for a nice, leisurely picnic where they could spend some time together that didn't involve fighting. She knew she'd told them, and yet, nothing!

Maybe Kakashi and his constant late ways had had a bad effect on them.

Now it was fifty-five minutes.

That was more than enough waiting on her part. She wasn't a girl exactly known for her patience and fifty-five minutes was more than adequate time to have given them to get their sorry selves here. Looked like she was going to have seek them out herself.

She stood up from her place beneath the tree, grabbing the basket of food she'd prepared so carefully and wondering if waiting for fifty-five minutes for two selfish teammates was grounds for justifiable homicide.

And as she picked up the basket, the handle suddenly broke, spilling the contents everywhere.

Oh yes, justifiable indeed.

- - - - - - -

The first thing she did was stop home, where she found another basket, filling it with food since luckily she'd made extra. This was the last of it, though, so nothing more had better go wrong. After making certain that everything was properly taken care of, she headed off in search of target number one: Naruto.

His apartment had yielded no results, which she had to grudgingly admit after pounding on the door and yelling for a good ten minutes. She'd gotten a few nasty glares from his neighbors as they peeked out their doors and windows, but she honestly didn't much care at the moment what they thought. Heaving a sigh, she realized she was going to have to conduct a more extensive search for the blonde ninja.

Hefting her basket up, she went to the next place she thought he might be, the training grounds. But when she got there, again, no Naruto. There were some others there, though, younger kids she recognized from around town, though she didn't know their names. Watching them, she was reminded of her first days as a part of Team Seven. They seemed so long ago, but still recent, too. Smiling, she decided if she ever found those two insensitive boys, that they should have their picnic at the place they first trained together. That would be a nice way to spend the day, she thought.

Of course, first she had to find them.

So she approached one of the kids, a boy with his hair sticking out every which way and asked if he'd seen Naruto.

"That silly blonde guy with the whisker marks and bad orange clothes?" The boy asked back. Sakura couldn't help but giggle at the description. That was probably what Naruto did look like to them, it was what he still looked like to her too. There were some things about Naruto that just would never change. She nodded in agreement and the boy continued.

"Yeah, he was here, but he left about an hour ago." The kid put a finger to his chin and looked up to the sky as if trying to remember. "I think he said something about ramen." Then he turned to his two companions, a boy and girl, and asked them "Right?"

"Yeah, yeah," They both agreed, nodding their heads vigorously and looking to each other for confirmation. "Ramen."

Any signs of good-naturedness Sakura may have had vanished when she heard this. He wouldn't dare! Not after she'd told him she'd be cooking! Not after all the work she'd gone through!

"Thanks." Her reply was sharply clipped, earning a cringe from the three children. She should've felt bad for that, it really wasn't their fault at all, but she couldn't bring herself to care. Naruto had better not be doing what she thought he was.

But he was.

She stared at him, in part dumbfounded, in part furious as she found him at Ichiraku's happily slurping down a bowl of ramen, with five empty ones sitting there before him. In his joy at eating, he didn't even notice her. Finally, the owner tapped him on the shoulder and gestured for him to look behind. When at last he saw her, he put on a big grin, swallowing the last bit of his favorite food that dangled from his mouth.

"Hey, Sakura." He said brightly. "What brings you here?"

She glowered at him, huffing and puffing, barely able to contain her rage. He continued to smile, though a bit of wariness began to seep in when he finally realized she was angry. And apparently angry at him.

"What?" He asked, rather innocently.

"Stop eating right now!" Sakura screamed, then stomped over to him. He looked up her wide-eyed, a pair of chopsticks full of noodles hovering dangerously close to his open mouth. Reaching over quickly, she snatched the item from his hand, and threw them back into the bowl, sloshing broth everywhere. Then, without further preamble, she grabbed the blonde by his hair and dragged him off the stool, heading for the door.

He flailed ungracefully in her grip as he was pulled away from his lunch. "OW! Sakura, that hurts!' He shouted, craning his head around and trying to look at her with what he hoped was a pathetic expression.

"You should have thought of that before." She snapped back, not swayed by his little act one bit.

"But. . . but . ." The guilty boy stammered, attempting to free himself from her death-like grip. "I haven't even paid yet!"

Well, fine. That got her attention. She couldn't let the owner go broke just because Naruto was an idiot. Letting go of his hair, she fished around in a pocket for any change she might have. At last finding what she hoped was enough to cover her teammate's tab, she marched up and slammed it on the counter. With a deceptively sweet smile on her lips, she addressed the man more courteously than she would have thought possible at the moment. "That should cover his bill, I hope."

Nodding wordlessly, the man assented. So done, she turned on her heel and stamped over until she was once again in front of Naruto who was gently rubbing his tender scalp. Glaring down, she commanded him. "We're leaving."

With that, she headed right back out into the street, assuming that the other would follow. Which, of course, he did.

Trying to catch up to her heightened pace without stumbling stupidly, Naruto tried to his best to placate her unfounded (in his opinion anyway) sour mood. "Uh, thanks Sakura. For paying and all. But, you know, I had the money for it. I'll pay you back, I swear." He fidgeted nervously beside the still fuming kunoichi. "I know! I'll take you out for ramen sometime, how's that?" He searched her face after getting no response, but her expression hadn't changed one bit. Looking to the side guiltily, he decided to change the subject. "So, uh, where are we going?"

That was it! He couldn't possibly be asking her that! The girl came to a sudden halt and spun around to face him, her hair flying wildly behind her. "You can't be serious!" He blinked at her. "I told you yesterday that we were going to have lunch together. I told you six times when and where to meet. But instead you went wandering off, training with kids, eating ramen, doing everything but the simple thing I asked!"

"I don't remember that." He pouted his lips and looked up to a corner of the sky in thought. Then he brightened quite suddenly. "Oh, hey! That means this is a date! Well, if you'd have said that, I'm sure I would've remembered!"

"This isn't a date. It was supposed to be you, me, and Sasuke." Her eyes narrowed at the insinuation that she would ever ask him out on a date.

"Well, then, where is the ice prince? What did you do, leave him somewhere?" The blonde asked a little perturbed.

She willed herself not to turn six shades of red. Then she looked away and pursed her mouth. "He didn't show up either." The girl mumbled almost incoherently.

Naruto's smile widened with a near mischevious gleam. "Reeeeally?" His voice sounded coy. "Well that means we really _can_ make this a date!"

"No, we can't!" And before she let him argue the point, she continued her thought. "We're going to go get him now."

Naruto grumbled under his breath, but knew by her tone there was no point in debating the issue. So, reluctantly, with his hands shoved into his pockets and a little pout on his face, he followed as they headed towards the Uchiha compound.

- - - - - -

Once at Ssauke's front door, Sakura knocked forcefully, but not too demanding. Handling her raven-haired teammate required a lot more delicacy than dealing with the blonde one.

"He's probably not even here." The aforementioned blonde said, his hands sitting behind his head, his blue-eyes gazing up at the clouds. "I don't like this place. It feels empty. Morbid" Then he giggled almost evilly. "But then, that really fits Sasuke, doesn't it?"

"Don't be an idiot." She rapped her knuckles again, hoping desperately for an answer. After what seemed like forever, she heard movement inside and the door opened slowly to reveal one very unhappy Uchiha.

Well, guess what, she was unhappy, too. So putting a scowl on her face to match his, she scolded him. "Where have you been?"

He gave her one of his 'are you stupid?' looks and answered simply. "Here."

Putting one hand to hip and tapping her foot impatiently, she continued. "And where were you supposed to be?"

He raised an eyebrow in a further condescending manner. "Here." He repeated.

Naruto kept his head facing the side, but turned his eyes to look at the other boy. He glared at him and received another one in return. Neither boy had any paticular interest at the moment in spending any quality time together, despite the fact that they were actually close friends.

"No, " the girl said, as calmly as she could. "You were supposed to meet Naruto and I almost an hour and a half ago to have lunch."

"No I wasn't." He moved to shut the door, but Sakura stuck her foot in, effectively keeping it open.

"Yesterday, I asked you to if you would come on a picnic with us, and you said yes!" The pink-haired girl yelled, at her wit's end having to deal with these boys.

"I never agreed to anything of the sort." The boy replied, in ever impassive fashion.

"Yes you did!" And Sakura stomped her foot down like a little child.

"Hn." Sasuke answered with his typical reply.

Returning his gaze to the clouds in the sky, Naruto finally took part in the conversation. "To be fair, Sakura, a lot of times it's hard to tell whether he's agreeing or not."

The girl whipped her pink head around to scowl furiously at the boy for interjecting into a fight that was clearly not his business, as far as she was concerned.

The Uchiha said nothing as he turned away, not bothering to close the door since Sakura's foot was still in the way. Instead he chose to just leave the two standing stupidly on his stoop and walked back inside.

"Oh, no you don't!" Sakura shouted, pushing her way in after her retreating teammate. "You're coming with us."

"I'm busy." The raven-haired boy said, noticing that Naruto had followed after Sakura and now both his problems were sitting right in front of him. In his house. He sneered and decided to just disregard them. He didn't want them in there, but it was easier than fighting with them at the moment.

"Busy!" The girl surprised even herself at the high-pitched screechiness of her voice. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Naruto rudely cover his ears as if trying to block out a banshee's howl. She chose to ignore him. "With what?"

"Everything," Putting his hands on some dishes in the sink, he started washing them. "Laundry, dishes, vacuuming, dusting, _cleaning_." He placed extra emphasis on the last on his list. "I don't have anyone else to do these things."

Silently, he returned his attention to an especially dirty pan. Sakura sighed and glanced over to Naruto who stood with his arms crossed, visciously pouting like a little kid. These two were quickly wrecking all her fine plans. The day was waning and she wasn't sure when she'd get another chance like this, so she was prepared to do anything not to give it up. Heaving yet another sigh, she placed her basket on the kitchen counter and addressed the uncooperative boy. "Fine then. Since you won't leave until it's done. . ." She received a wordless assent. "Then I'll guess we'll just have to help."

"What!" The blonde yelled suddenly irate, waving his arms over his head like some kind of monkey high on sugar. "What do you mean 'we'? I don't care if he comes, why do I have to help!"

He was about to continue with his tirade, but a sudden warning glare from Sakura shut him up quick. Grumbling, he walked up to the girl as the two of them looked to the occupied Uchiha to receive their orders. Sasuke looked over his shoulder at them curiously, raising an eyebrow, but shrugged his shoulders and put them to work.

- - - - - - -

Once all the towels were fluffed, the sheets changed, the clothes pressed, the dishes cleaned, and the house made, in a word, spotless, the three were finally ready to go. Looking at her watch, Sakura realized that her plans for 'lunch' had somehow turned into plans for 'dinner'. Well, it was still nice outside, the day wasn't quite lost yet, and most importantly, it looked like there were at long last no more things to get in her way.

Practically dragging the other two along behind her, she headed towards their old training grounds for a little nostalgic picnic. Sasuke was typically quiet and Naruto walked beside him, atypically quiet.

She should have been worried about this because after the many problems she'd had to deal with already, all things considered, it was going relatively smoothly now. But instead, she took simple joy in the peace the boys' lack of communication afforded her.

Of course, by thinking this, she tempted fate.

It all started with Naruto saying something stupid. Followed by Sasuke calling him stupid. Quickly followed by a verbal argument that escalated out of control. As she listened to to their childish discourse, she closed her eyes and put her hand to her forehead. The ridiculous fighting continued, Naruto shouting insults, Sasuke calmly handing them right back. Taking a deep breath, Sakura placed her basket on the ground and carefully turned to face the two idiot boys. Sometimes she felt more like mother than a ninja.

"Idiot."

"Jerk! Why don't you put you money where your mouth is!" The blonde waggled his finger, challenging, at the stoic boy standing bored across from him. "You think you're so great, pretty boy, let's fight it out!"

"Whatever you say, dobe."

And just as the two were about ready to launch themselves full force at each other, Sakura stepped in between them. With a slight turn, she hit Naruto straight in the face, surprising him as he fell clumsily to the ground. He stared up at her saucer-eyed, clutching a hand to his bruised cheek and caught sight of Sasuke smirking down at him from behind her. The blonde then narrowed his eyes in anger and pouted as he glared up at the girl who'd just hit him for no reason.

"That's not fair, Sakura!" He yelled. "How come I was the only one who got hit? Sasuke's just as much to blame. More so!"

Sakura simply looked at the ninja on the ground for a moment before tilting her head in consideration. Then she closed her eyes and lifted her eyebrows, and nodded her head to the side. Well, he was right. Fair was fair. So without further thought, she spun around and leveled a punch square on Sasuke's jaw. He stumbled backward, his face held a look of shock for a second before returning to its normal stoicism.

There was silence for a moment as Sakura shrugged her shoulders in mock apology. Even she hadn't expected to do that, but the truth was, the both of them deserved what they got for putting her through all this trouble today. The three friends just stood in silence for a while, there in the middle of the woods.

Then Naruto burst out into raucous laughter.

"Look at that! Pretty boy just got his faced bashed in! Gee, I hope it doesn't mess up your 'perfect looks'!" Naruto teased as he continued to chuckle from his seat in the dirt.

The girl glanced between the boys as Sasuke quickly lost his patience, glaring down at his still-laughing teammate. Then he sneered when the next words came out of his mouth. "She did better than you. Let's see you land a hit on me."

The blonde suddenly stopped in his mirth and jumped to his feet, accepting the not so subtle challenge.

"Just try saying that again!" He yelled childishly, with his fists clenched on either side.

"Fine. 'Let's see you land a hit on me'." Came Sasuke's flat response, as his lips twitched up in the hint of a smile.

Gritting her teeth, Sakura stood quietly between the two idiots as they destroyed her perfectly planned day. Why did they both have to be so difficult? It wasn't fair one bit, and she was sick of having to deal with their childish antics. She was going to have her picnic, whether these two liked it or not. So as the boys stood staring each other down, once again prepared to fight, the girl grabbed them both by the scruffs of their necks and instantly banged their foreheads together fiercely, effecively knocking them unconscious.

Letting them fall to the ground in their seperate heaps, she smiled down at her handiwork, her hands on her hips, quite pleased with herself. Well, that shut them up quick, didn't it? She'd always wanted to try that and was both surprised and ecstatic that it had worked so well.

At any rate, that was probably the one thing all day that had gone according to plan.

She hooked her basket over her elbow and grabbed the backs of both boys' shirts, dragging them away like luggage.

- - - - - - -

When she finally settled herself down at their old training grounds, she spread out the blanket and laid the food around. It really did look nice and the weather was pleasant, and altogether, she thought that this was the picture of what a picnic should be.

She sat down rather satisfied with herself and poured out a nice cup of tea.

Ah, good sweet peace and quiet. This was all she wanted really. It was just too bad that her idiot teammates had to go and ruin everything.

Well, they had tried to, anyway.

Things turned out OK in the end, or so she thought. Sakura looked up to the beautiful blue sky with a smile on her face. She sat against the wooden post, enjoying her drink, nibbling on her lunch (well apparently now dinner), in the company of her friends. Sure, they were a little . . ._incapacitated_ at the moment, but that didn't make a bit of difference to her.

She sighed and leaned back, ignoring the frustrated muffled noises coming from her companions on either side of her.

And as she sat happily sipping her tea, her two teammates bound and gagged to their posts but putting up a useless struggle anyway, she was quite content, thinking this was about as close to perfect as the day was going to get.

Then a loud crack of thunder broke the silence, and the three were suddenly drenched to the bone in the sudden downpour.

And she was sure that somehow, it was their fault.


End file.
